Living in history

History.. I think the whole point of history, is to shape the future. A better future .. But why does it has to be learnt the hard way? i suppose it has to be learnt the hard way because, we all learnt from pain. Such histories, will continue to haunts us, even after we move on in our life...

Everyone has a history... i must say, my history wasnt even appropiate to begin with. I have done too many wrong things, have been too playful, unserious.. I have broken too many hearts, cheated on too many people. In fact, my life is bout lies. I must be careful here now not to expose too much. No one knows about me. My history is dark. But the point is ... The point is, i have learnt my mistakes.. I hav changed, since so long ago.. But.. Is it not human nature to commit mistakes?

I read someone's history last nite. It affect me, damn alot! i drank myself to sleep again. i was talkin nonsense.. I suppose every history learnt is going to haunt us for a long time. And i cant help, but feel the way i am now... Lessons were learnt, hearts were hurt. But can one do anything about it? It is no good and there will be no point, if nothing is done. Can one prevent, something bad that has happened before, from happening again..


The answer is yes. For sure, its yes, if one do something bout it...

I guess i am troubled. I dont know what to do anymore. I am tired of feeling like shit. Fuck history.. i should move on

I am careful. And i wondered- Can one change for the one they love? Should i control myself? My actions? my feelings? Why are u on my mind? And why are you not? And why do i feel sad, insecure, scare, alone. And why do i drown in sorrow...

And i realised- i am actually living in history itself...