Haven been blogging for quite some time. Not online too. Been v busy, sorting out my life. Its been exactly one week, since i am back from australia.. And time, dosent seems to fly...
I have juz realised my misakes. The breakup wif michelle is wrong. Its too sudden. I shouldnt have juz took a knife, and stabbed it right through her heart! What was i thinking.. And i am feeling the guilt, the full lot of it now... Haven been sleeping well, haven been myself. Lost my appetite. No one knows the feelings i am feeling now..
My family is upset over the issue of my ex gf. They think i ve done wrong. I was outcast by them.. They will talk to me differently.. cold.. I was scolded, by them.. Even my sist, my close sister, dosent talk to me anymore. They are on michelle's side. My friends too. Some of them, took her side. Things are not wat i ve expected. And i am v troubled by it. I know my mistakes, i really do. I am too cruel. I have hurt her. I have changed. I am so very sorry. I am a human too. And seeing her suffering, i cant stop my tears...
She has lost so much weight..
But she is ever so understanding, which brings me more guilt. I have hurt the one, who loves me the most. It doesnt really matter what she did before. It doesnt matter the quarrels we had. But things are so differently now, isnt it... isnt it...
What have i done? Am i doing the right thing? There are so many thoughts in my mind. I am afraid i ll make more mistakes... I am so lost. I feel so hurt. I feel so sorry.
I do also know the consequences of writing this down. But i have nothing to hide to my beloved gf now. I love her, no doubt.. I hope she ll understands.. Its my fault, really.. I am sorry raine.. But i feel, i need to blog this down. I am a human. I make mistakes. I realised my mistakes. And trust me, i dont want to hurt anyone, anymore!
To my family and friends, i am SORRY things happen like this. To michelle- sorry doesnt help at all... Nothing will help... i will cry with you.
Be strong, move on.. like what u always do...
In love, nothing is right or wrong. And feelings are juz feelings, because we cant help, but feels.. And feelings changes because we have no control over it. But I now knows what to do.
I ve learnt a painful lesson. But the scar will stay inside of me, forever...
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