By Mel Sim - taken from yahoo news 14 Feb
You’ve heard the phrase: Money is the root of all evil. When it comes to relationships, seven out of 10 couples will tell you that there is a lot of truth to that saying.
Topping the list of why couples fight is money. The problem is often not money in the physical sense (though not having enough can also cause strain in a relationship) but more likely how it is being managed as well as one’s attitude towards it.
Imagine this scenario: You’ve always been taught to save for a rainy day so you’ve managed to accumulate quite a healthy savings. Then you meet someone where everything seems great. You settle down together and start life as a couple. Unfortunately, your partner does not share the same philosophy when it comes to money, instead having the opposite attitude whereby money is not worth anything if not spent. The financial stress then comes in when your partner is squandering your savings while you are working hard to make ends meet. There’s no question about it – this relationship is heading to Splitsville unless something is done, pronto.
It’s not just a case of mismatched perceptions on money; there are plenty more reasons why money and love can sometimes collide: finding out that your partner is being secretive about money (whether it is a debt or hiding money from you), being selfish and not cooperative in meeting financial goals together, being too controlling over money…the list goes on.
Speaking of Splitsville, let’s not even go where divorce or a breakup is involved. Chances are the financial stress you’ve experienced as a couple will escalated. Who gets to keep the house (if you are both co-owners)? Can you blame your partner for making you broke, no thanks to his or her spendthrift ways? What happens to the joint account – how do you get your money back if your ex-partner is refusing to talk to you? And if you’ve loaned some cash to your ex-partner, will you get it back (hate to break it to you, but we don’t think so).
Yes, money truly is the root of all evil!
SMART MONEY
Want to avoid the financial stress altogether? Take note of these financial pointers for you and your partner. The main thing to remember – work as a team when it comes to money to avoid all the cash drama!
#1 TALK ABOUT IT FROM THE START
It may be embarrassing (or too soon, too fast!) to talk about money at the early stages of your relationship but trust us when we say it is completely necessary. Knowing what your partner’s attitude is about money will help save you a lot of cash-ache, especially if you don’t share the same ideals. Also, finding out that the person you’re seeing comes with the whole debt baggage (no thanks to poor financial planning) may cause you to think twice before getting seriously involved.
#2 BE HONEST
Look, if you have an outstanding credit card, you need to be upfront about it. If you are more spend than save, come clean. Telling your partner exactly how you treat money (and vice versa) will save you and your partner a lot of unexpected surprises in the future, which will no doubt leads to blow-ups. So the cardinal rule? Be open about your financial position.
#3 SAVE AS A COUPLE
Taking things serious? Time to work on that joint account then? A joint account with monthly contributions from both parties can help with your financial dramas. Use it to pay all household bills so that no one party feels as if he or she is footing the bill all the time. Whether it is proportionate to your salaries or a fixed income, make sure the two of you stick to it. From there, you are then left with your own pot of money to spend however you want without your partner complaining that you are not pulling your cash weight.
#4 HAVE A MONTHLY BUDGET
Sit down together, work out your incomes and expenses. Then, create a monthly budget on how much you can spend as a couple. Remember to include both fixed expenses and the occasional dinner-out treats. Stick to that budget to make sure there are no “where did our money go to?” situations at the end of the month.
#5 SET UP AN EMERGENCY FUND
Take a few months’ expenses and dump it into a fixed deposit account or one where neither of you can easily access. With this emergency fund saved up, you don’t have to worry should one of you lose a job or if you need money urgently for whatever reason. This way, you take away the financial stress from invading your relationship in dire situations.
#6 SET FINANCIAL GOALS TOGETHER
What do you want to accomplish as a couple – Buy a house? Pay off all your debts by a certain age? Save for your retirement funds? Establish what your common financial goal is so you can keep each other on track. Also, make sure set down ground rules when it comes to money. For example, no large purchases without consulting one another. That way, you don’t get the surprise “look what I bought, honey!”
#7 TREAT YOURSELVES, ONCE IN A WHILE
Yes, it is good to save as a couple but it is also good to spend as one. So if the two of you have really worked hard at saving for the future, then a small treat – dinner for two, perhaps? – won’t blow the bank.
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